Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
