haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize