By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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