her vagine was all disorganized.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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