lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
