i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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