On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
