She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
