I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize