can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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