friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
