Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
