so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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