It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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