Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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