is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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