maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
