She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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