I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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