Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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