i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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