Slut skills are useful in every country.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
