Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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