Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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