I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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