Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
