We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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