My first STD was from a foam party
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
