im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
