Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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