Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
