that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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