Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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