I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
