textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
