Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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