Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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