Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
