Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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