just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize