dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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