It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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