Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
