Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
