I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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