in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
