Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
