your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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