Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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