I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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