VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
