Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
