1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
