Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
