I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
