i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
